Sit Ubu Sit. Good Dog
For some strange reason, every year USA or some other channel televises the Westminster Dog Show. For some stranger reason, I found myself watching said show this week. Or at least I think it was a dog show. But as far as I could surmise the only quality on which these animals were being judged was their similarity in appearance to a mop.
For those of you who have not had the pleasure of watching this, each dog gets poked and prodded by a judge to ascertain if it flosses and cuts its toe-nails and then walks/trots from one end of the stage to the other. Doesn't seem too strenuous. So imagine my surprise when the announcers began discussing whether one poor pooch would have sufficient time to recover between rounds. Huh? The dog stands still for 20 seconds, walks for another 15, and suddenly it needs days to reccuperate?
I think the problem with these shows is that they do not involve real dogs acting like real dogs. I think dog shows would be infinitely more interesting if they had some real contests. With that in mind, here are the events I'd like to see at a dog show:
- humping the judge's leg
- sniffing the asses of the other contestants
- urinating on the rug (small dogs only)
- biting the postman
- begging for table scraps
Add that to the dog show, and then we've got some Must See TV.
Posted by
scott at
08:15
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Comments (5)
Absolutely. A fabulous idea.
(Have you seen "Best In Show" yet? A must-see parody of the Westminster Dog showbiz-craze. Brilliant and hilarious.)
I like the dogs that resemble mops. Seriously, what's cooler than a dog with dreads?
My main problem with the Westminster Dog Show is the "Best In Show" award. It's the most perfect real-life illustration I've found thus far of the cliche "comparing apples to oranges." How can you say that the Chihuahua, for example, is a better dog all around than the Doberman? The Doberman could eat the Chihuahua -- I'd argue that's a better dog. But then I'm a fan of large dogs. It just seems silly to try to pick the "best" dog every year. Besides, we all know that the BEST dogs are the mutts you rescue from the local animal shelter. They don't come with fancy pedigree papers, but they love you a lot, they live longer than pure-breeds and they would no doubt excell at all 5 events you have listed above if given the opportunity to compete.
They are all the best dogs, because the best dog is the one you don't have to feed or clean up after.
As for Westminster imrprovement I go two words for you:
Frisbee Dogs
I loved Best in Show. Imagining all the back stories about the handlers and breeders was the only thing that got me through the dog show.
I also like your addition to the judging criteria. When it comes down to 2 dogs if one dog can eat the other one, it should automatically win.
Might I suggest a good game of Flyball?
http://www.angelfire.com/ny/curlycoat/flyball.html
If you have ever seen this event, you know that its the coolest animal sport ever. Its crazy, wicked fast, plus its a relay race. C'mon, its tough to get first graders to understand the concept of a relay race, much less canines.
do the dogs that look like mops? does their hair grow like that or do the owners do their hair for them??? if not what is this breed?